10 minutes on Heather Armstrong

Content warning: This is about someone who died by suicide.

I hate that all the obituaries are calling her a mommy blogger because, if I recall correctly, she hated that term. Or maybe she didn’t, and I just hate it? Either way. Here’s a a mommy blogger flat lay photo. Posted out of anger? If that makes sense?

A few notes to go along with the audio.

Heather Armstrong died yesterday. I think that will mean something to some of you, and nothing to others. I was honestly surprised by what the news did to me, a person who hasn’t thought about her in any way, at all, for years and years.

I recorded this sitting in a car, that was sitting in a parking lot. The sound quality isn’t the best. And it’s a little rambling. But I don’t know. I wanted to process the news with people. And you’re people. And processing isn’t always neat. I know you get that.

After I got home, I googled Heather Armstrong. And it seems like there was even more going on in the years since I stopped following her than I’d realized. But that doesn't really change anything I felt or said.

I think this is the most honest, compassionate tribute I’ve seen from someone who once knew her very well. I appreciated it.

As someone who didn’t know Heather, and didn’t really even know about her after 2012, I don’t really feel equipped to comment on her or her life. So in this audio letter I mostly talk about her impact on me.

Someday, I might write more fully about how radically important it was to me that she, and others like her, left the LDS church publicly, while also modeling the ability to - however messily - hold on to their still-LDS extended families. But for now, there’s this ten minutes of me in my car.

I reference a few things in here, that you may not know about, if you haven’t been here for long. So…

Here’s a newsletter about me leaving the LDS church. I talk a little about cosmic dawn in here too.

I grew up in a church led by a prophet

Here’s a newsletter about motherhood and online-ness being fairly fraught, especially in the early years of internet influence.

Mommies of Instagram

Here’s a newsletter, one of many, where I write a little about my PPD.

No Time to Care

Here’s where I am with motherhood as an idea now.

Vultures, Motherhood and the Dead (Year)