I hadn't heard until this afternoon. I believe she was one of the first bloggers I discovered. She was so open and honest about all the issues she went through with her religion, PPD, etc. I know she had been having difficulties in the past years and I am sorry her mental illness won. May her memory be a blessing to her girls and family. She did so much good and I hope that is remembered.
This news really hit me hard. I know Heather has been struggling over the years with her mental health. I was happy to see she had posted with her kids last month. Her oldest and my kid are about the same age. She was the first person to make me feel like I wasn't a ghoul for hating the newborn years. And she gave me hope that I didn't have to only be a mom. May her memory be a blessing for her loved ones.
She helped me with both these things too. I just ache for her kids. Really for everyone. But her kids, I hope they can feel how fiercely she loved them. I know it all got complicated. But that love, that love, my gosh, that love.
Agreed. At least from her IG, it looked like she was spending time with the kids. Hopefully the pictures of them all smiling and enjoying life weren't moments captured only for the camera.
It's so tragic.
We are all enough. Please don't ever believe the lies our brains tell us. WE ARE ENOUGH.
I'm almost in tears listening to your recording, Meg. I wish I had more to say but I just wanted to leave a comment letting you know I hear you and I'm so grateful that you decided to share your stories, because in a lot of ways you have helped inspire me to look outside my own home. Sending love
Came here to say this, too. Meg, your writing, not just the content, but the act of writing itself, most definitely made an impact in helping me come back into myself and begin to heal after those first two years postpartum after my second child.
Oh, Kelli. I am so grateful you are here. After each child, it took years to come back to myself. And of course, 'myself' was someone completely different each time. I am really honored to be a small part of your journey.
Much love to you, Meg - we are all impacted by myriad people in ways large and small. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions with us, and I look forward to continuing to read your voice. (A good cry in the shower always seems to help me.) ❤️
Thank you very much for this. I have been feeling unmoored since I heard the news. She was a light bearer for so many at so many different times, and there were also the times when we chose to avert our gaze. She was human, thus imperfect - aren't we all. Trying to hold space for those two feelings inside of me.
You are enough. Lots of love and light through the universe to you and through you.
Your sharing today is ok. And keep shaking for a while, don’t try to stop it - it helps release trauma from your system.
There’s a lot to release today. It’s ok to sit with it and let it flow through you. Even if tomorrow feels like more of the same. Take a walk, a cry, shower, roll on the floor... let it go. You’ll close the stress cycle and feel better, even if it takes a few days/week. We are here.
Sylva, you are the loveliest. Thank you so much. It was really helpful the way you framed the shaking as a release. I hadn't thought of it that way before. It makes it feel less out of control and so less scary. Thank you.
Thank you Meg. I was struggling with why this hit me so hard, especially after what she has written the last few years. What you said made me feel less alone in this conflicted grief.
My life experiences don’t intersect with hers at all, really. But as someone very online, this news still affected me. I maybe read two posts of hers ever, but I understood the influence she had. It’s hard to lose the people who came before us because they are often more than just themselves. She is certainly one of those people.
You really got all the joy and sadness and the complexity here. I've been struggling to capture it myself, even just in this comment. The way our worlds overlapped was so defining and changed my life so much, and it's also a relic of another time and another Internet.
Heavy heavy news. I was an avid follower of Dooce back in the day. Remember “First!” George, the dog (I can’t remember it’s name but I remember it sitting with things on its head)
I sent her a support and solidarity message after finding out she had quit drinking, but haven’t kept up with her after that as I’m off socials. I actually thought of her earlier this week out of the blue, which now is freaking me out a bit. She definitely impacted my life even though she didn’t know me. The ache for her daughters is visceral. Fucking mental illness sucks. Thanks Meg for giving us this forum. I haven’t listened to your post yet but will tomorrow. Lots of processing on this one.
For years I have thought of Heather as an Internet prophet. So many of her posts from ten years ago seem to predict the places the internet eventually went. She said hurtful things. She had hurtful things said to and about her. She simultaneously said “I’m more than mommy blogger” and also “what’s wrong with mommy blogger?”
I am unbelievably sad that she ended her life this way. I’m especially sad because it isn’t a surprise. Her kids. 💚 I hope they feel loved.
I really appreciate you taking the time to record this for us, always a treat to hear your open-hearted voice. When I learned Heather had died (on Rebecca Woolf's insta), I thought to myself, "I wonder what Meg might have to say about this!" I'm somewhat similar to you in that I first read Dooce around 2008, when working at an uninspiring job (but several years before going on to have the three young kids I have now) and was awed at her honesty.
You do such great work, Meg, and I appreciated your reflection about what Dooce made possible for you, and how you learned from her mistakes as well.
PS I was also SO moved by your post about your husband's electric bike being stolen, I will file away the way you talked about that with your daughters to draw upon in conversations with my own children!
The universe began with a cosmic dawn and so we cannot end in darkness. I’m an astronomy PhD student and the poetry of the universe never ceases to astonish me. Thank you for putting the epoch of reionization into such beautiful words. I’m going to take this with me whenever I teach cosmology.
Also, not sure what academic journals you’re subscribing to, but if they are astronomy ones, stop! All astro articles are posted on open access servers at https://arxiv.org. Most physics articles are there too, as well as math and economics.
I hadn't heard until this afternoon. I believe she was one of the first bloggers I discovered. She was so open and honest about all the issues she went through with her religion, PPD, etc. I know she had been having difficulties in the past years and I am sorry her mental illness won. May her memory be a blessing to her girls and family. She did so much good and I hope that is remembered.
I really hope that's remembered too.
This news really hit me hard. I know Heather has been struggling over the years with her mental health. I was happy to see she had posted with her kids last month. Her oldest and my kid are about the same age. She was the first person to make me feel like I wasn't a ghoul for hating the newborn years. And she gave me hope that I didn't have to only be a mom. May her memory be a blessing for her loved ones.
She helped me with both these things too. I just ache for her kids. Really for everyone. But her kids, I hope they can feel how fiercely she loved them. I know it all got complicated. But that love, that love, my gosh, that love.
Agreed. At least from her IG, it looked like she was spending time with the kids. Hopefully the pictures of them all smiling and enjoying life weren't moments captured only for the camera.
It's so tragic.
We are all enough. Please don't ever believe the lies our brains tell us. WE ARE ENOUGH.
I'm almost in tears listening to your recording, Meg. I wish I had more to say but I just wanted to leave a comment letting you know I hear you and I'm so grateful that you decided to share your stories, because in a lot of ways you have helped inspire me to look outside my own home. Sending love
This is how I feel too! 💛 Thank you Meg!
Lauren, oh my gosh. Thank you.
Came here to say this, too. Meg, your writing, not just the content, but the act of writing itself, most definitely made an impact in helping me come back into myself and begin to heal after those first two years postpartum after my second child.
Oh, Kelli. I am so grateful you are here. After each child, it took years to come back to myself. And of course, 'myself' was someone completely different each time. I am really honored to be a small part of your journey.
Megan, this is such a generous comment. Thank you so much. I am in tears over it. Let's look outside our homes together.
Much love to you, Meg - we are all impacted by myriad people in ways large and small. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions with us, and I look forward to continuing to read your voice. (A good cry in the shower always seems to help me.) ❤️
Oh, gosh. I love crying in the shower. And thank you so much for being here. Truly.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 🖤
Thank you for letting me.
Thank you very much for this. I have been feeling unmoored since I heard the news. She was a light bearer for so many at so many different times, and there were also the times when we chose to avert our gaze. She was human, thus imperfect - aren't we all. Trying to hold space for those two feelings inside of me.
Exactly this.
You are enough. Lots of love and light through the universe to you and through you.
Your sharing today is ok. And keep shaking for a while, don’t try to stop it - it helps release trauma from your system.
There’s a lot to release today. It’s ok to sit with it and let it flow through you. Even if tomorrow feels like more of the same. Take a walk, a cry, shower, roll on the floor... let it go. You’ll close the stress cycle and feel better, even if it takes a few days/week. We are here.
Sylva, you are the loveliest. Thank you so much. It was really helpful the way you framed the shaking as a release. I hadn't thought of it that way before. It makes it feel less out of control and so less scary. Thank you.
Thank you Meg. I was struggling with why this hit me so hard, especially after what she has written the last few years. What you said made me feel less alone in this conflicted grief.
It's all very complicated. Grateful to be sitting in it with you.
She was my first parasocial relationship before that was even a word ❤️ I could see her struggle in her recent writing and ached for her
Yeah, I've been kind of catching up this evening and wow, a real disintegration. Heartbreaking.
My life experiences don’t intersect with hers at all, really. But as someone very online, this news still affected me. I maybe read two posts of hers ever, but I understood the influence she had. It’s hard to lose the people who came before us because they are often more than just themselves. She is certainly one of those people.
More than just themselves. A great way to describe what the internet does to so many - for better and worse.
More than themselves --- wow. So wise
Thank you for so clearly articulating why this hits so hard today. May we all find the healing we need.
It's really hitting so hard. I hope you're finding some comfort.
You really got all the joy and sadness and the complexity here. I've been struggling to capture it myself, even just in this comment. The way our worlds overlapped was so defining and changed my life so much, and it's also a relic of another time and another Internet.
All of this. ALL OF THIS.
Heavy heavy news. I was an avid follower of Dooce back in the day. Remember “First!” George, the dog (I can’t remember it’s name but I remember it sitting with things on its head)
I sent her a support and solidarity message after finding out she had quit drinking, but haven’t kept up with her after that as I’m off socials. I actually thought of her earlier this week out of the blue, which now is freaking me out a bit. She definitely impacted my life even though she didn’t know me. The ache for her daughters is visceral. Fucking mental illness sucks. Thanks Meg for giving us this forum. I haven’t listened to your post yet but will tomorrow. Lots of processing on this one.
For years I have thought of Heather as an Internet prophet. So many of her posts from ten years ago seem to predict the places the internet eventually went. She said hurtful things. She had hurtful things said to and about her. She simultaneously said “I’m more than mommy blogger” and also “what’s wrong with mommy blogger?”
I am unbelievably sad that she ended her life this way. I’m especially sad because it isn’t a surprise. Her kids. 💚 I hope they feel loved.
I really appreciate you taking the time to record this for us, always a treat to hear your open-hearted voice. When I learned Heather had died (on Rebecca Woolf's insta), I thought to myself, "I wonder what Meg might have to say about this!" I'm somewhat similar to you in that I first read Dooce around 2008, when working at an uninspiring job (but several years before going on to have the three young kids I have now) and was awed at her honesty.
You do such great work, Meg, and I appreciated your reflection about what Dooce made possible for you, and how you learned from her mistakes as well.
PS I was also SO moved by your post about your husband's electric bike being stolen, I will file away the way you talked about that with your daughters to draw upon in conversations with my own children!
The universe began with a cosmic dawn and so we cannot end in darkness. I’m an astronomy PhD student and the poetry of the universe never ceases to astonish me. Thank you for putting the epoch of reionization into such beautiful words. I’m going to take this with me whenever I teach cosmology.
Also, not sure what academic journals you’re subscribing to, but if they are astronomy ones, stop! All astro articles are posted on open access servers at https://arxiv.org. Most physics articles are there too, as well as math and economics.