Meg, there is so much grief here. Thank you for giving this voice, and an ear to everyone telling you their stories now. It is hard to be the keeper of so much pain. I hope you take care of yourself, and I hope you know the gas stove newsletter can wait as long as it needs to.
I'm so so sorry you've been struck by this so hard.
I wish I could say I was surprised, but having seen the power structure in SLC try to squash Kathryn Stockton back in the day, in part because her wife ran one of the first reliable crisis centers, well. The promise of protection that patriarchal churches hold out to women is always false, they'll always protect themselves first. Which doesn't make it any easier when you watch the Church you once loved do this, or in my case, throw a big funeral for the Pope who vigorously protected all those child abusing priests.
As Anna said, take care of yourself first, and we'll look forward to the gas stove dissertation when you can get to it.
Thank you, Meg. My heart is so broken. I'm not a practicing Mormon anymore, and I've been trying to find my place in the community. I love the thought that the sisterhood we have exists outside of the church structure.
I've now read the Gabrielle Blair article and a bunch of tweets and have been full of grief and anger today. Thank you for your words and like Anna said - the gift you're giving to people by hearing their pain - I also hope you take care of yourself.
I've commented once before about some of the commonalities in evangelical and Mormon culture (I'm in the ex-evangelical camp). It strikes me how close-knit the Mormon communities are, even more so than my own were -- and how that can be both blessing and curse -- and how the grief when something happens in your faith community of origin is such a complicated grief. I'm glad you all have your sisterhood even if you're not practicing LDS. I wish all the women and children in danger could find a way to be safe. 💔
I read this when you first sent it out and have been thinking so much about it since. Then design mom shared her tweets and thoughts regarding the irresponsibility of gun ownership. And the combination of the two has been weighing on my mind even more. I keep thinking of the statement I saw from the family of those killed and I just get so angry about all of it. I know they are a family in mourning and I can't imagine the pain they are going through. However, the fact that in their statement the family said things like don't use this as a political statement, there should have been guns in the home with which either adult could have defended the family, and these guns were removed by the man who then killed them so gun ownership would have protected them (but this wasn't seen as a red flag). I just can't make sense of it all. They're defending guns even as they're preparing to bury 7 members of their family...I just don't know what to do with all of it. Their statement will never make sense to me. But thank you for your words to assist in some of the sense-making (that feels like the wrong word) I'm still trying to do.
The reaction of the men reminds me of when that obgyn who did fertility work in Idaho was found to have used his own semen to impregnate dozens of women. Without the knowledge or consent of the couple. My ex husband's uncle would only say 'but I just really like him, you guys don't know him like I do. He's a really good person and they are just running him through the ringer.' like. What in the actual fuck. Why are these the responses to such horrifying acts??
Meg, there is so much grief here. Thank you for giving this voice, and an ear to everyone telling you their stories now. It is hard to be the keeper of so much pain. I hope you take care of yourself, and I hope you know the gas stove newsletter can wait as long as it needs to.
I don't know why* but this was the comment that made me sob today. Thank you.
*well, I do know why. It's full of grace and patience and kindness.
Oh Meg.
I'm so so sorry you've been struck by this so hard.
I wish I could say I was surprised, but having seen the power structure in SLC try to squash Kathryn Stockton back in the day, in part because her wife ran one of the first reliable crisis centers, well. The promise of protection that patriarchal churches hold out to women is always false, they'll always protect themselves first. Which doesn't make it any easier when you watch the Church you once loved do this, or in my case, throw a big funeral for the Pope who vigorously protected all those child abusing priests.
As Anna said, take care of yourself first, and we'll look forward to the gas stove dissertation when you can get to it.
Sometimes our lives, or events in the outside world, will get in the way of any job. Please go easy on yourself, Meg. We'll be here when you're ready.
Thank you, Meg. My heart is so broken. I'm not a practicing Mormon anymore, and I've been trying to find my place in the community. I love the thought that the sisterhood we have exists outside of the church structure.
I've now read the Gabrielle Blair article and a bunch of tweets and have been full of grief and anger today. Thank you for your words and like Anna said - the gift you're giving to people by hearing their pain - I also hope you take care of yourself.
I've commented once before about some of the commonalities in evangelical and Mormon culture (I'm in the ex-evangelical camp). It strikes me how close-knit the Mormon communities are, even more so than my own were -- and how that can be both blessing and curse -- and how the grief when something happens in your faith community of origin is such a complicated grief. I'm glad you all have your sisterhood even if you're not practicing LDS. I wish all the women and children in danger could find a way to be safe. 💔
I read this when you first sent it out and have been thinking so much about it since. Then design mom shared her tweets and thoughts regarding the irresponsibility of gun ownership. And the combination of the two has been weighing on my mind even more. I keep thinking of the statement I saw from the family of those killed and I just get so angry about all of it. I know they are a family in mourning and I can't imagine the pain they are going through. However, the fact that in their statement the family said things like don't use this as a political statement, there should have been guns in the home with which either adult could have defended the family, and these guns were removed by the man who then killed them so gun ownership would have protected them (but this wasn't seen as a red flag). I just can't make sense of it all. They're defending guns even as they're preparing to bury 7 members of their family...I just don't know what to do with all of it. Their statement will never make sense to me. But thank you for your words to assist in some of the sense-making (that feels like the wrong word) I'm still trying to do.
The reaction of the men reminds me of when that obgyn who did fertility work in Idaho was found to have used his own semen to impregnate dozens of women. Without the knowledge or consent of the couple. My ex husband's uncle would only say 'but I just really like him, you guys don't know him like I do. He's a really good person and they are just running him through the ringer.' like. What in the actual fuck. Why are these the responses to such horrifying acts??
This makes me think of a song we are singing in my local chorus. Warrior by the Wyrd Sisters. Here’s a link: https://youtu.be/QYQD0vb_Mdg