We made it through the week! Congratulations!
She slept!
I am she! I slept through the night for the first time in three weeks last night. All day I’ve felt functional? And not even a little depressed? I guess sleep is important after all! Wow!
I haven’t been staying up half of every night on purpose. I just wake up incredibly anxious most nights at about 1am and then I fall asleep around 5:30am and I am up again by 7:15. Not sure what I did yesterday to deserve sleep, but I hope I did it again today. Because wow. What a treat.
There has been an update!
Remember how Riley’s bike was stolen? Which led to a discussion about incarceration and abolition with my five year old while we built a castle?
Well, our home owners insurance didn’t cover the loss of the bike. I guess there’s some very weird exemption for e-bikes - even pedal-assisted e bikes with no throttle, which the law recognizes as just a regular old bike. But State Farm seems to think is a motorcycle for….reasons. It’s almost like insurance companies do whatever they can to not actually provide protection for the people they cover?
And yeah, I’m much angrier at State Farm than the person who took the bike. State Farm has been taking my money for years and have created loophole after loophole to avoid covering losses. The person who took the bike wasn't nearly as egregious.
The worst part of the whole thing - after realizing the bike wasn’t covered - was when the State Farm agent told me this was a “learning experience” for me.
Yes, it was. (BTW who should we change to for Homeowners Insurance? Are there any less bad ones out there?)
In case you missed it
There was a really lovely, heartfelt, heartbroken discussion on the mini podcast episode I did in the middle of the week. I encourage a read through of the discussion, if you’ve got the time.
Okay, now a few things to get us through this weekend
Read
this piece from
and Matriarchy Report. This is one of my favorite newsletters. It is so well-written, so well-researched and so thought-provoking.I am sharing an excerpt here, but please read the piece in full. It is excellent.
It seems American women can agree on one thing: none of us like Mother’s Day.
I was not a fan of Mother’s Day before I had a child in my 40’s, and now that I have a kid I still have mixed feelings. And I’m not alone—it seems we are all ambivalent at best.
On the one hand, I can think about my daughter on Mother’s Day and the fact of her birth and existence, and I am still in awe every day that I tore a hole in the universe and now here is this person.
Sometimes my four-year old still asks: “Where did I come from?”
Her dad will tell her that she came from the two of us, and I always happily interrupt: “But mostly me. Mostly I made you.”
And I’m not just being salty, I genuinely take pride in and wonder at the fact that I did that thing—that my body just knew how to do it with its own set of secret instructions! It has actually made me, in my 40’s, more in awe of my body, which is a gift because when do women ever get to feel good or powerful about their bodies in our culture?
But then, on the other hand, there’s (gestures to everything, everywhere, falling apart for women in the U.S. with tragic effects).
And if I’m being honest, as much as I feel awe and joy about the fact of my body’s ability to make a new life, I feel an equal part of grief.
Grief isn’t how we are “supposed” to feel on Mother’s Day. It’s definitely not the Hallmark card version. But it’s how I feel; and if you feel it too, I think it’s perfectly valid. How else should we feel?
Create
with
. I love, love, love Nishant’s work. He turns people watching into art. One of my favorite things he does on his newsletter is The Game of Tiny People. He sketches people he sees in a museum, or wedding, or train station. And then he asks his readers to pick one and make up a tiny story about them in the comments.As you might imagine, I am very, very proud of my alternative universe Jane Austen story. I just think Charlotte Lucas deserved better!
Just click the link below to create with Nishant. I’ll be checking this weekend to see if I recognize any tiny stories from my readers!
Hear
Mahalia Jackson sing at the 1957 Newport Jazz Festival. I watch her sing The Lord’s Prayer every single Sunday. It’s the closest thing I have to regular church attendance right now.
Mahalia Jackson was a gospel pioneer, a civil rights activist and a visionary.
Here’s an excerpt from a piece about Mahalia Jackson by Gwen Thompkins
Pope John XXIII said such nice things to her. The National Baptist Convention was no less captivated, as were the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and a host of black and white bishops and preachers and worshippers worldwide. The King and Queen of Denmark wanted more. So did the Empress of Japan, four U.S. presidents, Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, broadcaster Studs Terkel, the City of New Orleans, Ed Sullivan and James Baldwin, among others. But for musicians, the best compliments come from other musicians and no one could praise Mahalia Jackson the way that the jazz pianist and composer Mary Lou Williams did at the 1957 Newport Jazz Festival. Williams heard Jackson sing there and said, "That goddamn woman makes cold chills run up and down my spine."
Eat
something made from Mayumu: Filipino American Desserts Remixed by Abi Balingit.
Simultaneously nostalgic and eye-opening in its novelty, Mayumu is the perfect example of what makes the modern Filipino American food movement so exciting. By building on the basics of both American and Filipino desserts, Abi shows us how refreshing and fun it can be to loosen the boundaries of tradition and let the two schools mingle a little more. -- Bettina Makalintal, food writer at Eater
I’ve fallen in love with this cookbook. It’s full of beautiful writing and gorgeous recipes. This weekend we are making the lemon sunshine uraro cookies.
I also love Abi’s Instagram. I think you should check it out. If you want!
Okay! Now it’s your turn. Tell us what we should be reading, creating, hearing and/or eating this weekend. It’s your time to shine, homeculture community! (But for real, I need some stuff to fill the next 48 hours!)
I just read What Looks Like Bravery by Laurel Braitman (memoir) and it absolutely wrecked me but also taught me so much about grief. If you’re in the mood for that, definitely add this to your list!
I am listening to Richard Ayoade's "Ayoade on Top" on Audible. It is delightful and truly hilarious -- a deep-dive for no reason in particular into the 2003 low-budget Gwyneth Paltrow movie "View from the Top" (viewing not necessary). One line I loved today: "If a man cannot serve two masters, to which Coen brother should I direct my comments?"