I’m failing them all the time in so many ways, but hopefully they at least leave home knowing how to love people. I don’t know. We’ll see! They definitely won’t be leaving home with other bits of knowledge - like knowing how to load a dishwasher correctly, ha!
So beautiful to hear such kind of conversations with kids, about not skipping over the assumed language we are handed by the world. Such sad choices that history has created. I love that despite the frustration of being stolen from, you framed it with what is really in play--the injustice of a system that doesn't take care of one another. 💜
I love how you parsed this because you’re right, she was speaking in the language our culture so often gives us. And she’d learned it even without me teaching it to her. Which makes some sense, because language acquisition kind of works like that. I am always trying to remember my own limits, that I only know the words and ideas I know...but there are so many potentialities that I may just not have the words for yet. I try to keep myself open to that, but I know I’m not always great at it.
thats's what I loved about what you wrote, and how you thought about answering her, or asking her questions about what she felt and meant. You took time to think through what the source of it was, and how to think about what's being handed to her, even subliminally. It's such a gift you are giving in those moments of true listening, and getting her to expand and think more about this world. So beautiful.
I wish everyone had such enlightened understanding of jails, I hope we all do someday. I work with incarcerated fathers and it's heartbreaking to hear them talk about being separated from their kids. And I have yet to meet one for whom jail is going to make any kind of meaningful or positive difference in their lives. They are all dealing with myriad problems, none of which are helped by being imprisoned.
It’s just so heartbreaking. Prison only hurts, it never helps. I know for some in the industrial prison complex, that hurt is a feature, not a bug. But I have so much hope when I hear from people like you. I think most people want to help. And will ultimately be receptive to new ways of helping.
"If everyone takes care of each other then we could all keep our bikes and everyone would have bikes." Oh, Brontë. Thank you for this beautiful parenting moment - doing it and sharing it. Heart-bursting, heartrending. (And I'm sorry about the bike, and, you know, this country.)
If only we could just take care of each other. I love thé way she was absolutely listening even when she didn’t seem to be. So sorry about the bike though. That’s a tough loss :(
The loss of the bike does still feel crummy. But it's a little thing in the big scheme of things. And yes, I'm always shocked when they ARE listening and when they are NOT listening, hahaha
Totally, on both fronts. Parenting may be the most mixed of mixed bags, but sometimes your own work on an issue pays off and something lands with the kids.
“That I only know the words and ideas I know...but there are so many potentialities that I may just not have the words for yet. I try to keep myself open to that, but I know I’m not always great at it.”
Oh good for you, Brontë, & from that little epicenter. . . all the world! Teach them when they are young, they say. (Even a broken clock is right twice a day). (To explain why I’m throwing cliches around, I use a cliche)
Thank you for raising your kids with such compassion for others! Wonderful touching story!!! This is how we change the world, one kid at a time! 🙏🏽💛🥰
I’m failing them all the time in so many ways, but hopefully they at least leave home knowing how to love people. I don’t know. We’ll see! They definitely won’t be leaving home with other bits of knowledge - like knowing how to load a dishwasher correctly, ha!
Oh, that story made me cry. What a beautiful, generous gift you gave your daughter, your family, and us. Thank you for this most humane story. ❤️❤️❤️
Oh thank you so much for reading it. There are plenty of times when they DON’T listen to what I’m saying. So I’m glad this time she did!
So beautiful to hear such kind of conversations with kids, about not skipping over the assumed language we are handed by the world. Such sad choices that history has created. I love that despite the frustration of being stolen from, you framed it with what is really in play--the injustice of a system that doesn't take care of one another. 💜
I love how you parsed this because you’re right, she was speaking in the language our culture so often gives us. And she’d learned it even without me teaching it to her. Which makes some sense, because language acquisition kind of works like that. I am always trying to remember my own limits, that I only know the words and ideas I know...but there are so many potentialities that I may just not have the words for yet. I try to keep myself open to that, but I know I’m not always great at it.
thats's what I loved about what you wrote, and how you thought about answering her, or asking her questions about what she felt and meant. You took time to think through what the source of it was, and how to think about what's being handed to her, even subliminally. It's such a gift you are giving in those moments of true listening, and getting her to expand and think more about this world. So beautiful.
I wish everyone had such enlightened understanding of jails, I hope we all do someday. I work with incarcerated fathers and it's heartbreaking to hear them talk about being separated from their kids. And I have yet to meet one for whom jail is going to make any kind of meaningful or positive difference in their lives. They are all dealing with myriad problems, none of which are helped by being imprisoned.
It’s just so heartbreaking. Prison only hurts, it never helps. I know for some in the industrial prison complex, that hurt is a feature, not a bug. But I have so much hope when I hear from people like you. I think most people want to help. And will ultimately be receptive to new ways of helping.
"If everyone takes care of each other then we could all keep our bikes and everyone would have bikes." Oh, Brontë. Thank you for this beautiful parenting moment - doing it and sharing it. Heart-bursting, heartrending. (And I'm sorry about the bike, and, you know, this country.)
A works where everyone has bikes is a perfectly five year old way to describe “everyone has enough.” I kind of loved it. 🥹
Absolutely perfect.
Your story - your kids and mine - give me hope.
I really do feel so so much hope when around a lot of our youth. So much!
😢🥲
What's the opposite of a punch to the gut? Something like this.
This made me smile so widely. Thank you.
If only we could just take care of each other. I love thé way she was absolutely listening even when she didn’t seem to be. So sorry about the bike though. That’s a tough loss :(
The loss of the bike does still feel crummy. But it's a little thing in the big scheme of things. And yes, I'm always shocked when they ARE listening and when they are NOT listening, hahaha
This was beautiful.
Tycy, thanks so much!
This was lovely, Meg. This story is going to stick with me, I think. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for letting me share it!
That is some stellar parenting right there, Meg.
Plenty of bad moments to balance it out. This is just one thing I've thought about a lot. You know what I mean?
Totally, on both fronts. Parenting may be the most mixed of mixed bags, but sometimes your own work on an issue pays off and something lands with the kids.
“That I only know the words and ideas I know...but there are so many potentialities that I may just not have the words for yet. I try to keep myself open to that, but I know I’m not always great at it.”
This. Thank you. 🙏❤️
Thank you so much for sitting with me in the trying!
Oh good for you, Brontë, & from that little epicenter. . . all the world! Teach them when they are young, they say. (Even a broken clock is right twice a day). (To explain why I’m throwing cliches around, I use a cliche)
What good hard work you're doing there, Meg. I want to live in your world.
My eyes are also a little wet and I’m smiling. 💕💕