I’m hoping I can get to this point, too. Because I too was once a missionary. But I can’t see past the nametag and the logo on it. It feels like a tentacle of some distant mass reaching into my door, and not some kids who are kind and silly a lot of the time and great with kids and just trying their best
I am twice as old? A lot older than you. And was soooo sloooowwww to leave. I so admire y’all “youths” who understood it was untenable to stay in the church before you spent years & years there. You’re awesome & a light to me. I’m still in the “dodging missionaries” phase, but I aspire to your goals, too. Interestingly, I was able to do that when I first left (in a different state) but now that we’re back in Idaho, I cannot. I’m still puzzling over that. But thank you for sharing your thoughts & bringing us into your experience. You do such an important work. Hugs (& hot chocolate) to you.
When I listened to the program, I interpreted your pauses as the thoughtful consideration by which I know you, and I was grateful for it. In such a heavy conversation, I was comforted to hear your voice and hear your thinking! Virtually reaching for your babies <3
For what it's worth, I read the transcript of the NPR interview because I didn't think I could handle hearing the voices of the interviewees - too emotional. I didn't hear your pauses, but I saw your words and I loved them. Thank you for speaking truth to power. I am not LDS, but my dearest friends are - the sister of my heart and the honorary "auntie" to my child is the head of the relief society at our local ward. I work at the domestic violence crisis center that serves our small rural community, and every other week she calls me and tells me that she's bringing another woman to meet with our advocates. Some of them we support in leaving, others just want to talk. We hold space for all of them, without judgment - some of them have been our clients for 10+ years. We've offered to hold trainings for the bishops over the years to help give them the tools to support the survivors, but they don't take us up on it. The women take care of the other women - LDS and non-LDS - and we've formed a whisper network of sorts. My friend wants to step away from her calling soon - she's pregnant again and overwhelmed with the sheer volume of caregiving that she does, both within her family and outside of it. As her friend, I support her without reservation doing what she needs to do for herself in drawing boundaries. As a professional, I'm terrified for what it will mean for the women of the ward if/when she does step away from her calling. It's so much pressure.
You are such a thoughtful and important voice on this subject. Don't be so hard on yourself. For what it's worth, that expensive media training will tell you this: Come prepared with the talking points you want to make. And then no matter what the question is, just pivot to your talking points. "That's a really interesting question. Something I find even more interesting is...." What you did was far more authentic and genuine, because you really listened to the question and offered a real answer!
That was so hard, Meg, and I’m glad you had Riley. Not Mormon, but I left the evangelical church over eight years ago after almost 40 in. I used to invite those boys into my house for dinner because they were so far from home and so young, but that was only a few years after I’d been a missionary myself as a grownup. Too many things send me into that curled up ball on the floor--Christmas music can really knock me for a loop because it’s inescapable. Thinking of you tonight and sending lots of love.
I'd like to echo some of what Allison said here earlier on, I didn't listen, and the transcript was spot on and thoughtful!
I've made a bunch of audio interviews for my own newsletter. I'm not an audio professional, lol, but, when editing, I've taken out a share of ums, aaahs, pauses, and repetition. I've read that there is meaning being both expressed and made in these conversational interstices(wish I could cite a reference but can't call it to mind.)
It's my view podcasts have trained us to think that thoughty people speak without pausing. I also believe that much of what we hear on the (produced) radio, and on pods, is not actual conversation. That doesn't make the information being conveyed worth less, but it's a produced reality, and the aim of production is to cut to the chase. fwiw.
Oooohhhhhhhh I have feelings and tears for this so much.
I’m hoping I can get to this point, too. Because I too was once a missionary. But I can’t see past the nametag and the logo on it. It feels like a tentacle of some distant mass reaching into my door, and not some kids who are kind and silly a lot of the time and great with kids and just trying their best
I am twice as old? A lot older than you. And was soooo sloooowwww to leave. I so admire y’all “youths” who understood it was untenable to stay in the church before you spent years & years there. You’re awesome & a light to me. I’m still in the “dodging missionaries” phase, but I aspire to your goals, too. Interestingly, I was able to do that when I first left (in a different state) but now that we’re back in Idaho, I cannot. I’m still puzzling over that. But thank you for sharing your thoughts & bringing us into your experience. You do such an important work. Hugs (& hot chocolate) to you.
When I listened to the program, I interpreted your pauses as the thoughtful consideration by which I know you, and I was grateful for it. In such a heavy conversation, I was comforted to hear your voice and hear your thinking! Virtually reaching for your babies <3
For what it's worth, I read the transcript of the NPR interview because I didn't think I could handle hearing the voices of the interviewees - too emotional. I didn't hear your pauses, but I saw your words and I loved them. Thank you for speaking truth to power. I am not LDS, but my dearest friends are - the sister of my heart and the honorary "auntie" to my child is the head of the relief society at our local ward. I work at the domestic violence crisis center that serves our small rural community, and every other week she calls me and tells me that she's bringing another woman to meet with our advocates. Some of them we support in leaving, others just want to talk. We hold space for all of them, without judgment - some of them have been our clients for 10+ years. We've offered to hold trainings for the bishops over the years to help give them the tools to support the survivors, but they don't take us up on it. The women take care of the other women - LDS and non-LDS - and we've formed a whisper network of sorts. My friend wants to step away from her calling soon - she's pregnant again and overwhelmed with the sheer volume of caregiving that she does, both within her family and outside of it. As her friend, I support her without reservation doing what she needs to do for herself in drawing boundaries. As a professional, I'm terrified for what it will mean for the women of the ward if/when she does step away from her calling. It's so much pressure.
You are such a thoughtful and important voice on this subject. Don't be so hard on yourself. For what it's worth, that expensive media training will tell you this: Come prepared with the talking points you want to make. And then no matter what the question is, just pivot to your talking points. "That's a really interesting question. Something I find even more interesting is...." What you did was far more authentic and genuine, because you really listened to the question and offered a real answer!
That was so hard, Meg, and I’m glad you had Riley. Not Mormon, but I left the evangelical church over eight years ago after almost 40 in. I used to invite those boys into my house for dinner because they were so far from home and so young, but that was only a few years after I’d been a missionary myself as a grownup. Too many things send me into that curled up ball on the floor--Christmas music can really knock me for a loop because it’s inescapable. Thinking of you tonight and sending lots of love.
I'd like to echo some of what Allison said here earlier on, I didn't listen, and the transcript was spot on and thoughtful!
I've made a bunch of audio interviews for my own newsletter. I'm not an audio professional, lol, but, when editing, I've taken out a share of ums, aaahs, pauses, and repetition. I've read that there is meaning being both expressed and made in these conversational interstices(wish I could cite a reference but can't call it to mind.)
It's my view podcasts have trained us to think that thoughty people speak without pausing. I also believe that much of what we hear on the (produced) radio, and on pods, is not actual conversation. That doesn't make the information being conveyed worth less, but it's a produced reality, and the aim of production is to cut to the chase. fwiw.
(edited to correct a punctuation error I caught)